All You Need To Know About Sex After 50

Although there have been some progresses in promoting age positivity in recent years, society still tends to shy away from acknowledging that individuals over 50 are sexual beings who continue to engage in sexual activity. Regardless of the opinions of younger naysayers, the truth remains that middle-aged and older individuals are experiencing some of the most satisfying and fulfilling sexual experiences of their lives – and you can also join in on the enjoyment. 

It’s undeniable that our bodies undergo changes over time. Embracing these changes might require some adjustments, but it can also be an enjoyable and exploratory process. While certain aspects may feel looser, lower, drier, or wobblier than before, these changes should not discourage you from maintaining an active and fulfilling sex life.

Continue reading to discover all you need to know about sex after 50.  

Sex after 50 is Healthy

With certain more pronounced physiological changes that can occur after age 50, such as menopause or osteoporosis, some older women may question the health implications of engaging in sexual activity. However, research indicates that sexual activity in older adults can significantly benefit physical and mental health.

According to Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a Research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute, engaging in sex offers various benefits, including providing physical exercise, reducing stress, improving mood, and boosting memory.

Alexandra Fine, the CEO of Dame Products, further highlights that sex enhances emotional connection, which can contribute to supporting longevity in relationships. 

It is Nrmal to Lose Interest 

“Sexual being! What do you mean? I’m over 50, and my interest in sex has significantly declined!”

If this resonates with you, there’s no need to worry. It’s normal for women to experience decreased libido around menopause. The better news is that, this lull in sexual desire is typically not permanent.

While waiting out is an option, it may frustrate you and your partner. An alternative solution is to consider maintaining some level of sexual activity, even if it’s limited. Whether you choose to keep it to yourself or involve your partner, keeping that flame alive can help you navigate the dip in your libido. If the loss of sexual desire is causing significant concern, don’t hesitate to seek advice from your doctor. 

Our Partners Sometimes Lose Interest

One important aspect of sex after 50 is that, while you might feel ready for intimacy, your partner may experience disinterest. It’s not uncommon for some men in their 50s to struggle with maintaining an erection or encountering ejaculatory issues due to age-related changes.

If your partner faces challenges in this area, it’s crucial to remember that these issues result from natural changes happening in his body and have nothing to do with you. 

If you find these issues to be potential obstacles for both of you, consider reframing your perspective. Rather than viewing them as hindrances, see them as an opportunity for mutual exploration and growth. Embrace the idea of using erotic touch and foreplay to deepen your intimacy. Take the time to discover what brings pleasure to your body now rather than dwelling on what worked decades ago. 

Keep in mind that while orgasms are wonderful, they aren’t the sole focus of sexual activity and intimacy. Not every encounter has to culminate in mind-blowing experiences or fireworks. 

Sex after Abstinence is Great

If you’ve had a period of sexual inactivity, you might be questioning the safety of resuming sexual activity after reaching 50 or experiencing menopause. The good news is that you can indeed engage in sexual activity safely after a period of abstinence, even if it has been an extended duration.

Extended periods of no sexual activity after menopause can result in the vagina becoming narrower and shorter, potentially leading to painful intercourse. If you encounter discomfort, consider discussing the issue with your doctor. They may recommend using a vaginal dilator to help stretch the tissues, improve sexual function, eliminate pain, and enhance overall enjoyment.

If a dilator doesn’t seem suitable, you can explore alternatives like using a water-based lubricant, a vaginal moisturizer, or stimulating foreplay to ease discomfort and make your sexual experiences more pleasurable.

You Know Your Body

In Antonia Hall’s Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life, numerous women shared that they used to have concerns about their sexual performance when they were younger; however, as they grew older and gained a deeper understanding of their bodies, their perspective about sexual experiences transformed significantly.

As these women aged, they discovered a noticeable decrease in inhibitions and fears, substantially improving their sexual experiences. Reaching the milestone of 50 can become a turning point in one’s sex life, as age brings greater acceptance and a heightened appreciation for life’s pleasures. Despite society’s focus on idolizing youth, it’s essential to recognize that your 50s can be a prime period in your life—embracing this stage with confidence and not allowing anyone to tell you otherwise. 

Certain Sex Positions Are Better Than Others

While you may have once mastered most of the Kama Sutra in your younger days, certain bodily changes that occur over time might require you to set aside a few pages as you age. Some sexual positions that were once comfortable may now be physically uncomfortable or even painful due to these changes. 

Engage in experimentation with your partner to discover the best positions for both of you. If you experience pain during intercourse, consider opting for a position where you are on top. This position allows you to have more control over the depth and pace of penetration, enabling you to find a level of comfort that suits you. 

If you find the missionary position uncomfortable, try placing a pillow under your back or hips to alleviate discomfort. Additionally, consider exploring standing positions or being on your hands and knees, as these alternatives might offer greater physical comfort during sex. 

STDs Still Exist

Regrettably, reaching 50 doesn’t grant immunity to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). It’s crucial to prioritize safe sex practices at any age. If you’re beginning a sexual relationship with a new partner, involved in an open relationship, not committed exclusively to one partner, or not your partner’s only sexual partner, practicing safe sex is imperative. 

Always play safe by using condoms as well as other safe sex methods, and often test for STDs.

Nurture Desire

The quick and casual approach, often associated with “wham-bam-thank you, ma’am,” may be more common among individuals in their 20s and 30s. However, quickies aren’t limited to younger people, and sex after 50 can be a time to explore deeper and more nurturing experiences. Rather than rush through intimate moments, cultivate desire and passion.

Sex expert Dr. Juliana Morris shared valuable tips in an Oprah Daily article to help achieve this. Consider creating a bedroom bucket list of intimate or sexual activities you’d like to try with your partner and gradually check them off as you explore your desires together. Additionally, break away from the routine of nighttime encounters and try being sexually intimate at different times of the day. For example, you could enjoy intimate time together before heading out for lunch or dinner.

Turning 50 is the start of the rest of your sexual life. Welcome it!

Curious to learn more about Sex After 50? Why not check my eBook, Can You Get Me Off, compiled to help you navigate through comfortable sex after Menopause.